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01/19/2009 - Philadelphia, PA (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - There are a lot of teams in England that would love to trade places with Chelsea.
The team is in the thick of the Premiership title race, owns a spot in the knockout round of the Champions League and has advanced to the fourth round of the FA Cup.
However, as Saturday's last-gasp win over lowly Stoke City at Stamford Bridge illustrated, this is not the Chelsea team that we have become accustomed to.
The old Chelsea would have clinically taken apart the Potters with a surgeon's precision, while this year's edition needed two goals in the dying minutes to scrape by a team that is destined to battle relegation this season.
Frank Lampard's goal four minutes into stoppage time provided a thrilling ending to the match, and the star midfielder is hoping the game will provide a turning point in Chelsea's season.
"There are pivotal moments in seasons where you think 'Will this change something?' Today could be a turning point as long as we follow through with it and be a bit more ruthless in front of goal," Lampard said after his team's win on Saturday.
While it's true that these kinds of wins have a way of turning around a team's fortunes, this is a club that will not be one of them.
The win on Saturday was Chelsea's second in six games in the league, and the team has too many other issues to deal with to mount a serious title charge over the remaining four months.
Last season, the club took a step back by failing to win a single trophy, and this year it will be more of the same.
The manager is always the first to take the blame for a team's shortcomings, and in this case, Luiz Felipe Scolari is no exception.
The Brazilian took over for Avram Grant after last season, and he promised a more attractive, attacking side.
After an impressive 4-0 win over Portsmouth it looked like he was going to deliver, but nothing has come easily for Scolari since that time.
He watched the club's 86-game home unbeaten streak in league play come to a halt in October with a 1-0 defeat to Liverpool, while the team was bounced from the Carling Cup by Burnley on penalties in November.
A second home defeat to London rivals Arsenal followed, while the club was hammered 3-0 at Old Trafford by Manchester United and needed a replay to get past League One side Southend in the FA Cup.
Rumors surfaced about a possible firing if the team failed to beat Southend in that replay, and although the coach may have survived, his seat has certainly not cooled with Saturday's performance.
Chelsea has suffered a few key injuries this season that haven't helped, mainly the loss of midfielder Michael Essien in early September with a knee injury. Missed time by Didier Drogba and Joe Cole also hasn't benefited the squad.
Essien's rugged play in the middle of the field has been missed to be sure, while Drogba hasn't gotten going since missing a large part of the early season due to injury and suspension.
Cole went down for the remainder of the year in the win over Southend with a knee problem of his own, which leads to another of Chelsea's issues - a lack of quality depth.
Franco Di Santo and Miroslav Stoch may both become first-team regulars for the club, but when they are being asked to come off the bench and rescue a game in the late stages, it seems like a bit of a stretch.
Both played well on Saturday, marking the first time a Scolari substitution has had an impact all season, but if they are asked to play an important role in the team's current campaign, there will be no new additions to the trophy case.
Deco was signed from Barcelona over the summer and played well in his first month, but he has been a non-factor since.
Others that need to pick up their play include Salomon Kalou, Florent Malouda and Michael Ballack, while the team's strike partnership of Drogba and Nicolas Anelka is another story.
Anelka is currently leading the league with 14 goals, but Drogba has been the team's top strike option for the past couple of seasons.
The Frenchman has become a player known for failing to score when it matters most. Meanwhile, Drogba's play on the field has been disappointing, and his conduct off it has been rumored to be just as bad.
Scolari has refused to pair the two up top, preferring to go with one striker, and at this point, it might be wise for that striker to be Anelka.
Drogba was not even named in the team for Chelsea's last two games, and for the right price, you have to think Chelsea would be willing to part ways with a player that has just one goal in 10 league appearances this season.
Even the one thing that has been a constant at the club in recent years - the money of billionaire owner Roman Abramovich - is taking a hit.
Abramovich, the richest man in English football over the past couple of years, slipped to third in an annual list published by FourFourTwo magazine.
The Chelsea owner has lost a reported $4 billion in the economic downturn, and he is now worth less than half of what Manchester City owner Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed al Nahyan is worth.
In years past Abramovich would have thrown some money at the problem and brought in reinforcements, but now (like the rest of us) he is watching his spending a bit closer.
It would appear that the only way Chelsea will make a new signing is by selling off one of their own first, but what ever happened to the $17 million that City paid for defender Wayne Bridge?
The reluctance of Abramovich to spend, combined with Chelsea's current form, adds up to another year without silverware.
And for Chelsea, that is a big problem.
<< Phantoms' Ross wins AHL Player of the Week
Springfield, MA (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - Philadelphia Phantoms center Jared Ross has
been named the American Hockey League's Player of the Week for the period
ending Sunday, it was announced on Monday.
Ross racked up six goals and three assis
<< Phantoms' Ross win AHL Player of the Week
Springfield, MA (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - Philadelphia Phantoms center Jared Ross has
been named the American Hockey League's Player of the Week for the period
ending Sunday, it was announced on Monday.
Ross racked up six goals and three assis
<< Giants name Sheridan new defensive coordinator
East Rutherford, NJ (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - The New York Giants wasted little time
in filling the need for a defensive coordinator, elevating linebackers coach
Bill Sheridan to the position just two days after Steve Spagnuolo left to take
the hea
<< M's avoid arbitration with P Hernandez
Seattle, WA (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - The Seattle Mariners avoided arbitration with
pitcher Felix Hernandez on Monday, signing the bulky right-hander to a one-
year deal.
A report on Mlb.com places the figure at $3.8 million, a substantial ra
Dolphins ink CFL standout LB Wake >>
Miami, FL (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - The Miami Dolphins signed a pair of free agent
defenders on Monday including two-time Canadian Football League Most
Outstanding Defensive Player, linebacker Cameron Wake.
Wake garnered the defensiv
Coyotes reassign Schlemko to San Antonio >>
Glendale, AZ (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - The Phoenix Coyotes reassigned defenseman
David Schlemko to their American Hockey League affiliate, the San Antonio
Rampage, it was announced on Monday.
The 21-year-old Schlemko has scored four goals
Ravens RB McGahee released from hospital >>
Owings Mills, MD (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - Ravens running back Willis McGahee was
released from a Pittsburgh hospital Monday morning, one day after he suffered
a frightening blow to the head during Baltimore's 23-14 loss to the Pittsburgh
Steeler
Orioles, Red Sox swap pitchers >>
Baltimore, MD (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - The Baltimore Orioles acquired pitcher David
Pauley from the Boston Red Sox for pitcher Randor Bierd on Monday.
Pauley, 25, went 0-1 with an 11.68 ERA in six games (two starts) for the Red
Sox in 2008. He
Trash talk has a place in every competitive endeavor (except baseball; those stirrup-wearers are too busy chewing on their sunflower seeds and their supplements to worry about what their opponents are doing).
Fantasy sports is no exception. Any intelligent discussion of the subject would probably start with a thesis statement or a definition of terms. Thankfully, this wont be an intelligent discussion.
Let me just say that I am happy to take a place in this space alongside my talented colleagues, even our commissioner. (You should see how she bleats like a demented paper boy about league fees on our fantasy site).
Trash talking, I would argue, is primarily about amusing your friends, their sheeplike demeanors and sloping foreheads notwithstanding. The best place I have found for football trash talking is at www.SportsAlarm.com.
Beyond the entertainment factor, though, I would recognize that the sophomoric ritual has one advantage, when properly applied. It magnifies your fantasy triumphs and mitigates your fantasy failures by transforming the eventual point total into an afterthought. Winning makes it seem like your opponent really is a truss-owning, lapel-pin-wearing nitwit. And in defeat, trash talk can be the air bag to break the fall from your hyperbolic heights. The plug-necked yahoos on your team, you can say, will be sacking groceries by the end of the season.
The best trash talk, in my view, is layered and nuanced. And it doesnt focus only on your opponents team. It picks apart your opponent. The idea is to create a shock-and-awe-scale blizzard of nonsense, and the goal is to make your opponent drop his hands from his keyboard in exasperation.
What team does your opponent root for? Accuse a Giants fan of having a Joe Namath pillowcase. Wheres your opponent from? Give a look of concern no matter his reply, then say, I'll try to type slower for you next time. Is your opponent into politics? Label everyone a tax-and-spend corporate shill.
Cap all that with a liberal application of irrelevance. For instance, dont just conclude by saying your opponent is a twerp who drafts like my grandmother. Say that your opponent is a sweater-wearing, eyebrow-plucking twerp who drafts his team about as well as Zsa Zsa Gabor gave acceptance speeches at the Oscars. By the time your foe makes sense of that, his starting running back will have had puppies.
But what about you? Hmm? Recall a memorable slam? Have a tried-and-true technique? Know someone who seems impervious to insult? Take a moment and tells us about it. Put together some (fit-for-publication) thoughts. You wont be too busy returning phone messages from your friends, Im sure, to reply.
In addition to the trash talking, the Sports Alarm has a huge gallery of high resolution pictures of beautiful women and models in bikinis. The most popular models are: Lindsay Lohan, Carrie Underwood, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Paris Hilton.
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